To Finally and Fully Let Go

It has been two months since I left my previous job and what can I say, I still miss going there. It was far from perfect but it was home. It was my sanctuary for almost five years and I am finding it really difficult to let go. I read this article from The Captain’s Speech about how he misses school and everything I miss about my job came fluttering back to me in an instant. Putting everything out here may be just what I need to finally and fully let go.

I miss two-hour lunches outside the office.
I miss scouring through the internet just to find a great place to eat nearby.
I miss picking a piece of paper with a name of a restaurant from a bottle we have filled with names of restaurants nearby.
I miss being disappointed at where we just ate and laughing all about it afterwards.
I miss ordering different kinds of cake for dessert so we could try each one.
I miss being the only one to prefer Jollibee while almost everyone else wants McDonald’s.
I miss how the time spent to call everyone to eat for lunch was longer than the time we actually spend eating.
I miss going to the nearby convenience store after lunch to buy all sorts of snacks for the afternoon battle of staying awake.
I miss seeming like a headbanger because the snacks did not work. Why was it so difficult to stay awake?
I miss finally resorting to coffee to wake me up.
I miss the 30-minute snack breaks spent foodtripping with fishballs, squidballs, chickenballs, kikiam, kwek-kwek (boiled quail eggs covered with a mixture of egg and flour and then, deep-fried), turon (banana wrapped in a wrapper made of egg and flour, covered in brown sugar, and deep-fried), sweet potato fries, instant pansit canton with egg, siomai, corn, hopia, bread, green mangoes and everything those kiosks with wheels brought.
I miss not even bothering to eat during those breaks. I miss just spending the time together to rest and rant about work.
I miss afterwork dinners because we just felt the need to unwind after being exhausted the entire day. Yes, even if those dinners meant eating yet again in the KFC on the first floor of our building.
I miss going out for a few drinks after those afterwork dinners.
I miss eating at KFC and watching my friends take advantage of the free gravy.
I miss meetings that run the whole day and provide free lunch bought from KFC.
I miss having eaten at KFC so many consecutive times that the smell of chicken from a mile away makes me run fast the other way.
I miss free donuts that just constantly appears in our floor and in meetings.
I miss getting a free taste of donuts that haven’t even been released to the public.
I miss receiving a piece of paper after free tastes and being asked for a review of what I had just eaten.
I miss free-flowing coffee and hot choco, brownies, baked products, dossants, pon de rings, donuts and all kinds of our company’s products during planning sessions.
I miss planning sessions.
I miss being so exhausted after planning sessions.
I miss planning sessions held in hotels and resorts.
I miss not being able to enjoy the pools and the soft beds because we were so busy we had to work well into the night, too.
I miss living just walking distance from the office.
I miss everyone not knowing I just live nearby so I wouldn’t have to explain so much why I was always late.
I miss Halloween costume parties. I miss creatively dressing up the office space according to a specific theme. I miss how competitive we all were.
I miss Christmas parties. I miss trying so hard to not be included in the representatives of the per department performances. I miss winning the weirdest things in the raffle. I miss the Kris Kringle.
I miss team buildings. I miss being so competitive in the games only to be told winning was not the goal anyway.
I miss company outings, all the funny stories of people getting drunk, and every funny mishap that happened in the games.
I miss out-of-town trips. I miss getting to know people from other departments and bonding with clients. I miss discovering something new about those people everytime and feeling proud I belong to such an amazing team.
I miss going on sidetrips after out-of-town trips. I miss spending a little extra time to explore the place more and do some exciting activities.
I miss jokingly greeting the newbies on their first day, “Welcome to hell!” I miss scaling down the rants so we wouldn’t scare them away.
I miss teaching the new hires about our department, what we do as business performance analysts, our reports, and some Excel formulas they pretend to understand and ask about again in the future.
I miss creating Excel templates and reports that help and amaze people in other departments. I miss creating the longest formula for just a single performance indicator.
I miss my laptop crashing because it could not handle all the huge files that were open.
I miss creating Powerpoint presentations for my boss and the million revisions we have to do when he is extra enthusiastic that day and all sorts of ideas are coming at him from every direction.
I miss reasoning with him when he’s being too much. I miss just forcing a smile when I have no choice.
I miss the adrenaline rush of having to finish a report right away.
I miss being constantly pushed to the limits.
I miss not realizing the time because I was so absorbed in what I was doing.
I miss learning something new everyday.
I miss company trainings and seminars.
I miss asking my colleagues for help.
I miss learning from hearing my boss, other directors, and the general manager speak or scold us during meetings.
I miss our weekly classroom sessions where we would have cases or exams. I miss exchanging papers for checking and finding out the correct answers.
I miss being recognized for my work.
I miss being thanked because of how much I have helped colleagues in their work.
I miss being part of how the company’s targets were met.
I miss the constant exchange of banter with everyone I was close with. I miss how those closest to me jokingly pick on me. I miss how we do the same to other members in our group.
I miss taking random group pictures and posting them on facebook right after.
I miss constantly annoying my seatmate all for good fun. I miss being constantly annoyed as well.
I miss disturbing the peace and quiet in the floor because we couldn’t stop ourselves from laughing.
I miss leaving our respective areas and seating all together. I miss having very little room to move because we have squashed five to six people in an area for two to three.
I miss the constant exchange of stories and jokes through Google chat.
I miss hiding out in meeting rooms just so we could work peacefully and without interruptions.
I miss being allowed to work from home.
I miss passing birthday greeting cards to be signed by everyone. I miss planning birthday surprises.
I miss passing farewell cards for people who are leaving. I miss planning farewell surprises.
I miss planning our very own department team buildings. I miss going out of town to just have fun and forget everything about work.
I miss our clients. They treated me like family.
I miss the bosses. They appreciated what I contributed in the company and they taught me a lot.
I miss my colleagues. They are some of the most genuine people I met.
I miss my crazy friends. Without them, most of the items in the list would not even be half as fun.

*This is in response to Blogging University’s Writing 101, Day 16: Search your stats for a post idea and Day 17: Mine your own material


2 thoughts on “To Finally and Fully Let Go

  1. Wonderful post! I’m humbled that one of my posts helped inspire this. From experience, writing it all out does help with coming to grips with not being there anymore. Sounds like you had a wonderful experience at your previous job!

    Liked by 1 person

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